Uses for Fabric Softener

OK, I am a guy, but even I can appreciate a few "Martha Stuart" type ideas, especially if they involve keeping bees away while I am golfing:

My mail carrier told me that the US Postal service sent out a message To all letter carriers to put a sheet of Bounce in their uniform pockets To keep yellow-jackets away.Use them all the time when playing baseball and soccer. I use it when I am working outside. It really works. The yellow jackets just veer around you.
1. All this time you've just been putting Bounce in the dryer! It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them. It also repels mice.
2. Spread sheets around foundation areas, or in trailers, or cars that are sitting and it keeps mice from entering your vehicle.
3. It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get opened too often.
4. It repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.
5. Eliminate static electricity from your television (or computer)screen.
6. Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling.
7. Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce.
8. To freshen the air in your home - Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet.
9. Put Bounce sheet in vacuum cleaner.
10. Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through a sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew.
11. Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing.
12. To freshen the air in your car - Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat.
13. Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agent apparently weakens the bond between the food and the pan.
14. Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket.
15. Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.
16. Eliminate static electricity from Venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.
17. Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.
18. Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.
19. Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight.
20. Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the bees away.
21. Put a Bounce sheet in your sleeping bag and tent before folding and storing them. It will keep them smelling fresh.

Man Laughing at Guy Getting Beat-up by Old Ladies

If you want to have a great laugh, go to this website and make sure you have about 5 minutes to laugh at this, as well as be sure your speakers are turned-up:

http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf

And you thought YOUR commute was long!

Here's another article from AOL:

370-Mile Drive Wins Longest Commute Contest
Studies Show Americans Travel Longer, Farther Than Ever to Work
By Ellen Wulfhorst, Reuters

NEW YORK (April 20) - Dave Givens drives 370 miles to work and back every day and considers his seven-hour commute the best answer to balancing his work with his personal life.
The winner of a nationwide contest to find the commuter with the longest trek, Givens is one of millions of people who are commuting longer and farther than ever before.
Studies show Americans spend more time than ever commuting and for a growing number, getting to work takes more than an hour. In the most recent U.S. Census Bureau study, 2.8 million people have so-called extreme commutes, topping 90 minutes.
Givens, a 46-year-old electrical engineer, has an extreme commute between home in Mariposa, Calif., and his job in San Jose. He leaves home before dawn and returns after dark.
His trip landed him first place among almost 3,000 entries in the search for America's longest commute, sponsored by automotive services provider Midas Inc. and announced last week. But as harrowing or tedious as Givens' trip may sound, he says it's the way to keep the home and job he loves.
"I have the balance right now," Givens told Reuters. "I could do similar jobs closer, but not with the work reward and job satisfaction I have. And I could live closer, but I wouldn't have the lifestyle that I desire.
"To me, this is not that long a commute," he added. "It's just something I do to go to work."
Longer commutes frequently involve people who live in one suburb and work in another, said Alan Pisarski, author of "Commuting in America."
Such a pattern tends to begin with companies moving out of a city to a suburb, enticing workers to move to less-expensive outer suburbs, he told Reuters. "People see this as an opportunity to go farther away," he said.
Such a move may provide more affordable housing or better schools. Even high fuel costs -- Givens spends about $185 a week on gasoline -- can pay off in a better quality of life, Pisarski said.
Doreen DeJesus rides a bus from her home in Tobyhanna, Pa., across New Jersey to her job in Manhattan.
The payoff is a house in the country, she said.
"It's a matter of getting away from the hustle and bustle of the city," said DeJesus, 37. "It's not an easy thing, but most days it's really worth it.
"My boss thinks I'm nuts," she added.
Studies show 7.6 percent of U.S. commuters traveled more than an hour to work in 2004, the most recent data available, up from 6 percent in 1990. The average one-way commute grew by 13 percent to 25.5 minutes between 1990 and 2000.
In 1990, only in New York state did more than 10 percent of workers spend more than an hour to get to work, Pisarski said. Now that situation can be found in New Jersey, Maryland, Illinois and California as well, he said.
Added to long commutes is increased congestion, according to the Texas Transportation Institute's 2005 Urban Mobility Report. Commuters typically spent 47 hours a year in traffic jams, up from 40 hours a decade earlier, the study showed.
"That's the time wasted above and beyond just being able to make the trip," said David Schrank, co-author of the report.
But the trips can be worthwhile, said Kay Phillips who works in Chapel Hill, N.C., 164 miles from her home in Granite Falls.
"I really love what I do, so I don't mind," she said.
While Givens spends much of his commute listening to the radio, especially traffic reports, Philips, 52, uses her five-hour commute in her own way -- she prays.
"I say a long prayer starting out every morning for everybody, and it gives you quite a bit of time to do that," she said.

Man Can't Put on Weight?

This was a newsclip from AOL today. Now I have seen it all...


Idaho Man Struggles to Reach 100 Pounds

IDAHO FALLS, Idaho (April 19) - A 5-foot-9, 22-year-old man who eats 6,500 calories a day - two and a half times the average intake for an adult male - has earned a special reward for breaking the 100-pound mark:
Dinner out from his mom. "I'm a medical mystery," said Matt Chaffee, who weighed in at 101 pounds on Saturday. "I've accepted it."
Chaffee, who has a 26-inch waist, had several health problems as a newborn. One of them, pyloric stenosis, prevents food from emptying out of the stomach. The condition and ulcers he developed in his esophagus reduced his ability to gain weight.
Chaffee weighed 8 pounds when he was 4 months old, and 17 pounds when he reached kindergarten, his mother said. He was up to 85 pounds at age 14, but couldn't participate in some activities, including swimming.
"He sinks like a rock," his mother, Kelley Chaffee, told the Post Register.
Since turning 18 his goal has been to go over 100 pounds. He achieved that on a diet that included 5,000 calories a day in protein shakes.
"He was so happy," Kelley Chaffee said.
Sandi Birch, a registered dietitian at Eastern Idaho Regional Medical Center, said most of the people she deals with are not trying to put on weight.
"Its far more common to have the opposite problem," she said.
Matt Chaffee is an Eastern Idaho Technical College student and WinCo Foods cashier who works out five days a week and can bench press 130 pounds. He uses his bike for daily transportation.
He said he'll stop drinking the protein shakes if he reaches 120 pounds. Until then, he said he'll continue to wear long johns in the summer that help him conserve heat and prevent illness.
Kelley Chaffee said she will continue to search for clothes in her son's size that make him look his best.
"He doesn't look good in Wranglers," she said.

Juggling and the Boston Marathon

This is taken directly from today's Chicago Tribune Sports Section.

Not Just any clown can do this
Michael Kapral is the better runner. Zach Warren is the better...juggler? Those two activities, seemingly mutually exclusive, will be on display in Monday's Boston Marathon. For the first time in the 20-plus years of the sport of "joggling", two competitors will face off in the same marathon. Warren, 24, is the world record-holder at 3 hours 7 minutes 5 seconds. Jogglers hold three bean-filled balls and must juggle every two steps; if they drop a ball, they must return to the point where they dropped it.
Boston Globe

Chicago Sports

Who would have thought it? In the past 6 months, we (the city of Chicago) have had a football team go the playoffs, a basketball team that is so close to the playoffs, a baseball team win the World Series, and the other baseball team is off to a 5-2 record?!
Is the apocolypse upon us? So many of our teams are offering a lot of promise and keep in mind the emphasis on the word PROMISE! We Chicago fans have been troubled and fit with a bad fortune of many sporting teams that have come-up close, but have not gone all the way to winning a major championship.
Yes, we did have the 1985 Bears that won the Super Bowl, but that is the only major championship they have won in 40 years!
Then there was the Chicago Bulls who dominated the NBA in the '90s with 6 NBA Championships titles. Since our last championship 10 years ago, we have only been in the playoffs once.
Now last October, the Chicago White Sox broke one of the longest droughts in baseball by winning the World Series. They too dominated by sweeping 2 of the 3 teams they faced in the playoffs and then sweeping the World Series. Now this same team, which has returned 90% of the players that played on last year's team, is off to a mediocre start with a record of 4-4.
I guess we should take our successes as they come and be happy with them. At the same time, it is hard to enjoy these successes as there are other cities that have consistent good teams that are a huge source of pride for that city. The New York Yankees, The San Antonio Spurs, and The Miami Dolphins all come to mind when I think of teams with great histories. If we could put together one franchise that brings consistent success every year, then I think you would see a little more optimism by sports fans like myself from this city.
Lastly, when you pay $50+ for tickets, then pay for parking, and take time of your day to go to a sporting event, I should go see a team perform that has a good chance of winning. How can I support a team by attending their games when they have not shown me any reason to support them?
Ah, but yes, this is Chicago, the city of big shoulders and big pocket books to support our teams that will continue to keep us in a state of nirvana.

Babies

To my friend Spero and his wife Kristen: Congrats on the birth of your little daughter last night: Sydney Anne Gramas who was 7lbs 10oz at 19" and born at 2:00am! I am very happy for them as they get to enjoy a whole world as parents.
My daughter Grace (or Gracie as we call her) is now 15 months old. Everything people have said is so true about being a parent, especially in the first year. The phrases "That first year will go-bye so fast" and "Cherish your time with your kids" are right on the head.
I have no regrets about my first year as being a parent. I only went to my martial arts class twice in the first six weeks after she was born. My instructor gave me a little grief about that, but my wife stayed home from work for eight weeks (actually nine, she took a week off before our daughter was born) and I felt I needed to support Lisa and help her by giving her a break when I got home from work. Lisa had had a c-section which made it hard for her to move around the first week or two and after that I could only imagine what it felt like to be inside most of the day re-cooperating as well as watching Gracie.
One other important point on me missing classes was that Gracie was cholic! She WOULD NOT SLEEP and cried a lot the first two months she was alive!!! Most babies sleep alot, not Gracie. She had a hard time sleeping for more than 6 hours and cried a lot when she was awake. Most nights Lisa got up and stayed awake with Gracie when she would not sleep, leaving a lot of sleep deprivation. I would try to alternate some nights with her and help out in the middle of the night when I could. It was a real hell on Lisa and made the situation more sad because Lisa acually looked forward to going back to work the last week or so just to get away from this hell in her life.
We were very anxious about putting her in day-care for three days a week and had an emotional moment the night before. The main reason we were anxious is that Lisa was afraid that with her lack of sleeping and constant crying that they would not keep her in the school. To calm Lisa's nerves, I called the school ten days before she started and they said that she would be fine.
Lo and behold, we brought Gracie to day care and she did fine. She got into a sleeping pattern and by three months old she was a completely different baby!
Today. if you saw Gracie, you would not believe the stuff we, especially Lisa, went through. She is a very happy kid with a loveable personality and great sense of humor. I always thought it was my "father's bias" that made me feel that way, then we started taking Gracie with us to church and there as well as at grocery stores and other places we would compliments from people on what a cute, sweet baby she was. Just yesterday we were in line at Lowes and a woman with a young child commented on how much fun she was and was playing with her.
Yes, kids are A LOT of work, but in the end it all seems worth it!!!